Mail Bag

By now, I'm sure this has become the most widely read blog on the Internet.  And that's without even really getting started with the wrestling articles I'm planning.  As a result, I've been receiving all sorts of feedback. It's time to take the opportunity to answer some of the many e-mails that have been flooding my inbox.

This first e-mail is from a fellow named George.  He writes: 

I'm writing this message to you with sadness. I traveled to London for a short vacation and unfortunately for me,  I was mugged at a knife point last night at the park of the hotel where i lodged and all cash, credit cards and cell phone were all taken away.

I have reported the robbery to the police but they are yet to find the muggers. My flight leaves in less than 18hrs from now and i am having problems paying my hotel bills. 

The hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle the bills. Please, I need a loan from you to return back home and i want you to get back to me if you can help,i will really appreciate if you can help me with the sum of $1,750. 

Regards 
George

Sorry, George, do I look like I'm made out of money?  That's what you get for going to London in the first place, what with their bland food and bad teeth.  You should have disarmed your attacker and stabbed him in the face.  My best advice to you since the hotel manager is apparently holding you hostage is to sneak out when his back is turned and get on your damn plane and go home.

Here is a letter from a Mr. Garri Zuma: 

Hello , 

How are you today,i hope you are fine?I am Garri Zuma the son of the late Minister of Tourism in Liberia,i am 17 years of age and i am presently at the refugee camp in Ghana,i am contacting you in respect of my two consignment boxes which is already in your country with the diplomat,my foreign beneficiary who was suppose to receive the consignment boxes and invest it for me was so greedy asking for 75% which we agreed on 25% before the boxes left Ghana for your country. I had to put a stop to the delivery of the boxes to him,please i am contacting you to help me receive my consignment boxes because i have mapped out 35% for you. I want to inform you that the diplomat has been there for good five days now waiting to hear from my foreign beneficiary to carry out the delivery to and the content of my two consignment boxes is Money $25,000.000.00 ( Twenty Five Million United States Dollars ) which is meant to be invested in a profitable business in your country. I want you to know that the diplomat does not know the true content of the boxes is containing money so please when contacting him for the delivery to you don't tell him about the content. I want you to know also that i have paid for the delivery charges which is $8500 ( Eight Thousand Five Hundred United State Dollars ) all you have to do is contact the diplomat.Please help me by receiving the boxes,for as soon as you receive them i will be coming over to join you,so we can start the investment together and i will start living a good life again. Please get back to me so that i can give you the contact of the diplomat so you can contact him for him to carry out the delivery to you and please remember to send me your house address and phone number . Best Regards, Garri Zuma . 

Dear Garri, 

What the HELL are you talking about?  Do you think maybe you could just TRY to string together a coherent sentence?  Suffice to say I won't be dealing with some 17-year-old Liberian punkass.  I'm not even 100% certain you really have $25 million!  Don't try and hornswaggle me, kid, I'm much smarter than you are.  Also, I hate diplomats. 

And this message comes from Mrs. Bryan McDonald:  

DEAR WINNER, 

PLEASE VIEW THE ATTACHMENT FORM AND SEE YOUR WINNING INFORMATIONS 

THANKS YOU AND CONGRATULATIONS. 

BEST REGARDS, 
MRS.BRYAN MCDONALD 
SHAWSTAKERS PROMOTION COORDINATOR 2010. 

Unfortunately, Mrs. McDonald, I was unable to download the attachment on my computer.  Some sort of virus warning or whatever.  And that's too bad, because winning this sweepstakes I never entered would have solved all my financial woes.  C'est la vie. 

Strangely enough, I didn't receive any e-mails from Monday Night Raw's Anonymous General Manager.  

If you would like to contact me and possibly have the thrill of seeing your remarks dissected in this very blog, e-mail me at JWARules@aol.com.  Or you can just comment below.