Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Mail Bag

By now, I'm sure this has become the most widely read blog on the Internet.  And that's without even really getting started with the wrestling articles I'm planning.  As a result, I've been receiving all sorts of feedback. It's time to take the opportunity to answer some of the many e-mails that have been flooding my inbox.

This first e-mail is from a fellow named George.  He writes: 

I'm writing this message to you with sadness. I traveled to London for a short vacation and unfortunately for me,  I was mugged at a knife point last night at the park of the hotel where i lodged and all cash, credit cards and cell phone were all taken away.

I have reported the robbery to the police but they are yet to find the muggers. My flight leaves in less than 18hrs from now and i am having problems paying my hotel bills. 

The hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle the bills. Please, I need a loan from you to return back home and i want you to get back to me if you can help,i will really appreciate if you can help me with the sum of $1,750. 

Regards 
George

Sorry, George, do I look like I'm made out of money?  That's what you get for going to London in the first place, what with their bland food and bad teeth.  You should have disarmed your attacker and stabbed him in the face.  My best advice to you since the hotel manager is apparently holding you hostage is to sneak out when his back is turned and get on your damn plane and go home.

Here is a letter from a Mr. Garri Zuma: 

Hello , 

How are you today,i hope you are fine?I am Garri Zuma the son of the late Minister of Tourism in Liberia,i am 17 years of age and i am presently at the refugee camp in Ghana,i am contacting you in respect of my two consignment boxes which is already in your country with the diplomat,my foreign beneficiary who was suppose to receive the consignment boxes and invest it for me was so greedy asking for 75% which we agreed on 25% before the boxes left Ghana for your country. I had to put a stop to the delivery of the boxes to him,please i am contacting you to help me receive my consignment boxes because i have mapped out 35% for you. I want to inform you that the diplomat has been there for good five days now waiting to hear from my foreign beneficiary to carry out the delivery to and the content of my two consignment boxes is Money $25,000.000.00 ( Twenty Five Million United States Dollars ) which is meant to be invested in a profitable business in your country. I want you to know that the diplomat does not know the true content of the boxes is containing money so please when contacting him for the delivery to you don't tell him about the content. I want you to know also that i have paid for the delivery charges which is $8500 ( Eight Thousand Five Hundred United State Dollars ) all you have to do is contact the diplomat.Please help me by receiving the boxes,for as soon as you receive them i will be coming over to join you,so we can start the investment together and i will start living a good life again. Please get back to me so that i can give you the contact of the diplomat so you can contact him for him to carry out the delivery to you and please remember to send me your house address and phone number . Best Regards, Garri Zuma . 

Dear Garri, 

What the HELL are you talking about?  Do you think maybe you could just TRY to string together a coherent sentence?  Suffice to say I won't be dealing with some 17-year-old Liberian punkass.  I'm not even 100% certain you really have $25 million!  Don't try and hornswaggle me, kid, I'm much smarter than you are.  Also, I hate diplomats. 

And this message comes from Mrs. Bryan McDonald:  

DEAR WINNER, 

PLEASE VIEW THE ATTACHMENT FORM AND SEE YOUR WINNING INFORMATIONS 

THANKS YOU AND CONGRATULATIONS. 

BEST REGARDS, 
MRS.BRYAN MCDONALD 
SHAWSTAKERS PROMOTION COORDINATOR 2010. 

Unfortunately, Mrs. McDonald, I was unable to download the attachment on my computer.  Some sort of virus warning or whatever.  And that's too bad, because winning this sweepstakes I never entered would have solved all my financial woes.  C'est la vie. 

Strangely enough, I didn't receive any e-mails from Monday Night Raw's Anonymous General Manager.  

If you would like to contact me and possibly have the thrill of seeing your remarks dissected in this very blog, e-mail me at JWARules@aol.com.  Or you can just comment below.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Who Is This Joe Rules?

So I decided to start a new blog.  I was previously on LiveJournal, but that site has pretty much gone the way of Yahoo! Groups (everybody left for greener pastures) so I'm going to try my hand here.

My name is Joe Rules, and I'm an independent professional wrestler.

Unlike my previous blog, this one isn't going to just be all about me and what I'm up to.  That's what Facebook is for.  Instead, I plan to write articles about pro wrestling in general.  I may write about the current goings on in WWE or TNA.  I might write about events from years past.  I could tell you about an upcoming indy show.

For the benefit of those reading this who have no idea just who the hell I am (which is most likely the majority of you) here's a Reader's Digest version of my wrestling bio:

In June of 1990, I wrestled my first backyard match against Rick Silver and shortly thereafter, received professional training at the hands of ECW's J.T. Smith, with help from Dino Sendoff (now known as Cujo the Hellhound) and The Blue Meanie.  Some superstars I've had the opportunity to work with over the years include WWE Hall of Famers George "The Animal" Steele, Koko B. Ware, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, and the late Capt'n Lou Albano.

In 1997, I received the honored position of #500 in Pro Wrestling Illustrated's annual Top 500 wrestlers list.  Halloween night that year, with new manager Luxurious Lynne in my corner, I eliminated Patch and the late Pitbull II to become the first-ever Jersey All Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion.  The title reign was short lived when the Pitbull immediately challenged me to an impromptu bout where he captured the belt in all of two minutes.

I'm also a former Pennsylvania Championship Wrestling Junior Heavyweight Champion, the current JWA-United Wrestling World Champion, and I've held at one time or another almost every title the United Wrestling Coalition has to offer.  I have also been inducted into the Great Wrestling Federation Hall of Fame.

In 1999, my then-girlfriend Kristy Kiss brought me on the infamous Jerry Springer Show to accuse me of cheating on her with the 400+ lb. stripper named Tiny.  Her accusation sadly proved to be correct.

A few years later, I tried hanging up the tights to focus on promoting events, behind-the scenes duties, and working as a manager.  But in professional wrestling, very few can stay retired.  Once I met Taylor Nicole, I was back.

I proposed to Taylor Nicole in-ring after she won a three-way over Cindy Rogers and Allison Danger at the UWC's annual Toys For Tots toy drive.  The next year, we were married.  We have two cats (Grissom and Jack) and are working on starting a family.  And I'm currently writing my memoirs.

Want to know more?  Head on over to JoeRules.com.  You should be able to find everything you need to know over there.

Enough about me.  Next time, I'll be back to talk any and all things wrestling.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Testing

I'm trying out the new blog for the very first time.  This is just a test.  Nothing to see here.