Thursday, March 31, 2011

WrestleMania

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog.  But with WrestleMania right around the corner, and after receiving a request from my erstwhile Jerry Springer Show love interest Kristy Kiss, this seems like a good time to pull the blog out of the mothballs.

On the eve of WrestleMania, nine individuals will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame:  The "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, The "Bullet" Bob Armstrong, Sunny, Drew Carey, Abdullah The Butcher, and The Legion of Doom (The Road Warriors & "Precious" Paul Ellering.)

I hear so many people complaining about Drew Carey's induction. "He's no wrestler, why's he in the Hall of Fame?"  The WWE Hall of Fame has a celebrity wing.  If you must complain, the problem isn't that Drew Carey is in there before Randy Savage and Bruno Sammartino.  It's that he's in there before Cyndi Lauper and Mr. T.

My only real complaint is the lack of Fabulous Freebirds in a Hall of Fame ceremony that takes place in Atlanta, GA.

Predictions for WrestleMania itself:

The Undertaker vs. Triple H.  Never bet against the streak.  Undertaker goes 19-0 this year.

John Cena vs. The Miz.  Obviously The Rock is involved in this match.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that The Miz will manage to escape with his title, leading to some manner of confrontation between Cena and The Rock.

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Michael Cole.  "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is special guest referee.  The only possible result here is Cole on the wrong end of a piledriver. 

Trish Stratus & Snookie & John Morrison vs. Layla & Michelle McCool & Dolph Ziggler.  100% chance of the babyfaces going over.  I would have it end with Morrison pinning Ziggler. 

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio.  Sorry, guys.  I'm just not into Del Rio.  At all.  (Although I do love the fact that he has his own ring announcer.)  Most predictions I've read have Del Rio winning the World Title, and Christian turning on Edge, so I guess I'll pick that for my result.  Personally, I'd rather see Edge & Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio & Brotus Clay.

Shamus vs. Daniel Bryan.  I'm a fan of Shamus.  I could easily picture him wrestling on Superstars of Wrestling on Saturday mornings in the late 80s/early 90s.  But I'm going to pick Daniel Bryan with the upset win to regain the United States Title. 

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk.  This could really go either way, but I'll go with Punk winning due to Orton's injury.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Misterio.  God, I just don't care!  Misterio.  Why not?

The Core vs. Kane & Big Show & Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov.  Well, after the celebration they had on Monday Night Raw, there's no way the faces are going over.  I wouldn't be able to name all four members of The Core even if I were getting paid to do so.

I'm sure there will also be a battle royal or some other manner of clusterfuck, either on the actual PPV or as a dark match, so the rest of the roster can get a WrestleMania pay day.  Who will win?  Depends who's in it.  Probably either William Regal, R-Truth, or Kofi Kingston.  Hell, it could be Hornswoggle!

Well, there's one way to find out, and that's by watching WrestleMania XXVII live on pay-per-view (or by reading the results after the fact.)